Friday, 16 January 2009


I like it when there are photos in blogs so I may try to continue with that. Slightly concerned that I'm being incredibly pretentious. But I was just trying to capture how I'm feeling in a picture rather than (or as well as) in writing, and fuck - if you can't be pretentious in your blog where can you be?

In a bit of a shit mood and I don't really know why. Maybe it's being alone after having people around so much lately... But that's not me, I know some people can't hack it but I'm great at being alone. I always think if you can't be happy with yourself then who can you be happy with?

I tried to write a song but only ended up with a few lines I like...

I wanna write a song that people hate
But if they did it would destroy me.

And the slightly less subtle;

I'm tired of smiling when I'm pissed off.

So basically I'm just lying around listening to Conor Oberst. I know you can't miss what you've never had, but if I can't imagine not having Conor Oberst. When I feel down I know exactly what I'm going to do, put a bunch of his albums in a playlist, hit shuffle and lie down. It makes me want to write songs, which is good, but sometimes I get annoyed because I wish I was that good at writing. If anyone is considering telling me I'm as good at songwriting as Conor to cheer me up, thank you but don't... You're either lying or just plain wrong.

I am at least feeling motivated. I want to write and record. I need to stop going away for a while, give myself some time. After this weekend.

Fuck it, I'm just gonna go to bed. Ian is meant to be coming round tomorrow, if a simple nine hour sleep doesn't make me feel better then he will. Plus Sheffield should be fun.
There's nothing that the road cannot heal.

Let me know if you like the pictures or if they make me look like a pretentious prick. But be nicer than that cos I'm already feeling low.


nikkyrowell said...

Conor is absolutely amazing.

I know that missing feeling.

You're pretty great too, by the way.

Your Unintended said...

Motivation in any form is great. I like the photo- it has a reflective quality.

marmaladefires said...

i know how you feel. i appreciate being alone too, and yet i still manage to feel strange after being around people at home at christmas and returning to school on my own again...just know that it will pass

Tiger Lily said...

I don't think they look pretentious in the slightest.
This was very nice to read.. I don't know, it felt a little different from the others.
And I sort of do wonderfully at being by myself as well, it's nice to hear I'm not alone in being alone.

munchkinhugs said...

Hope you feel better when you wake up.

The photo. I could say it's beautiful but something about it bugs me. But I guess you don't want to read that aye. Sorry.

Right. Anyhow.. once again, hope you feel better in the morning.

Katrina said...

I really like the photos; they're a neat way to capture your mood at any given moment. And I don't mean to be shallow, but your eyes are really gorgeous, too...

My main thought, though: I actually think I feel sort of the way you do at the moment. Usually, I'm pretty happy alone -- I can be myself in my purest form and not worry about anything. But at the same time, my parents and brother haven't been around too much recently, and I've gotten a bit frustrated with feeling like I'm alone more than usual. The transition from a lot of people to just yourself can be odd sometimes. But at least it's not permanent.

And writing... What a bitch that process can be sometimes. We're different kinds of writers -- you do songs and I do fiction -- but we're both suffering some sort of syndrome. Words can be such a great thing sometimes, but then they can also be a nightmare.

For the past few weeks, I've been trying to get a lit agent (since publishing is impossible without one) and all the responses so far have just been, "No, thanks." I don't mean to sound vain, but I know I write well and it's just a matter of waiting for the right person. For you, it's finding the right lines.

Until then, we need to trust that we've got talent, because we definitely do. Patience and sleep help the mentality, too. I'm not going to tell you that you're as good as Conor Oberst, because I've never heard of him, but I do know that I adore your songs and they're damn good.

So smile. Everything's going to be great. You're great.

Katrina x

Kristina said...

I like the pictures. They somehow make your words more personal.. kind of?

ZoeMoi said...

Adding pictures is a nice way to start a blog, cause it kinda sets the mood from the start..

It's not pretentious at all..

Anonymous said...

the picture is fine; like a mirror, helps to navigate to the truth. but Dave, just cause you're a talented guy who has the potential to take your art into a professional (if not spiritual) realm doesn't mean you can ignore the need for balance (food, rest, contemplation time), eh? do you journal? many artists harvest lines over time and stitch them together when inspiration strikes. MOST important: what song can you write that will help you with the guy in the mirror and at the same time help me see deeper, forgive old hurts, keep faith in tomorrow, understand formerly blocked reality, etc. there is no greater challenge than to really know ourselves; to communicate it takes sheer guts and more than a little gift. look how far you've come! your greatest understanding may be years ahead....
peace, my European friend.

Pav said...

Come on Dave, let's put a SMILEEE on that face! (sorry watched the dark knight again the other day :p)

Anonymous said...

Since when is there anything wrong with being pretentious?! There isn't, and if people weren't pretentious there'd be way less awesome music/books/art/etc in the world. So keep it up :)

Anonymous said...

I love your music :)
(because of that I am here writting you) :P
I suppose a lot of people writte you saying the same... haha


(Im nerea from Basck countrie :P)

Anonymous said...

Hey, Dave! Thanks for the free download of Fall At Your Feet (as good as Kris Shred cover of it) and Dispair In The Departure Lounge. Really good! Did you that you can have custom URL in mediafire,for instance, or something, it's easier to remember and share and free, just go to My Account and there's a Custom URL box somewhere and then you have to set it to a folder you want.

Anonymous said...

dave, you're hot.
no one minds seeing your beautiful face everytime you write a blog.

Meg said...

Photography is personally my favorite form of art. It conveys a message that you miss through every other are not only capturing a part of the artists mind but you also capture their essence! i love it!

Dave said...

Ah legend, thanks Bruno!

Anonymous said...

Your eyes... They're amazing. :)

and I'm being sincere.

Anonymous said...

Not at all, Dave!

Alan said...

It is required that you post at least one self-picture on your blog every week L) We all enjoy them, Dave.

Whiteandfluffy said...

Hay Dave

first off Chin up and hope your feeling better :o)

I love the idea of the photo's Great idea :o)

I might try it out on my blog, that is if I ever get the motovation to wright on it lol. This comming from a guy thats suposed to be wrighting a book ive had in my head for a while.

Mad really lol

Cadwaladr said...

I have to agree with most of the others: pictures good. The more photos of you there are, the more beauty there is in the world.

Anonymous said...

I like the pictures. =)