Monday, 7 July 2008

Clearing out my brain

Ok I have a lot on my mind right now so I'm warning you, this could get messy. And long.

I'm not even gonna start on the letter I showed you. Well ok I'll give you one line about them, they either have more money than sense or they were given that stuff free and thought of a funny thing to do with it. Thank you for your thoughts on that by the way. Though one thing that confused me, quite a few people commented saying stuff like 'you should take this opportunity' or 'they've given you the key to...' do something, I forget what... But whatever, they haven't really have they? It's not like I've been sat here writing songs for the last year with no microphone to record them on. What they've given me, is a third microphone and an idea for a song topic. If you're reading this, I don't mean to sound ungrateful, though I must say your methods are... unusual, what I'm saying is, nothing has changed. No real opportunity has arisen. If I write a song about what they were talking about, it will go on my channel, about 6,000 people will see it and it will be forgotten because in my head, it will always be mixed up with the reason it was written.

So there's that "one line" about the letter for you. Now do you see what kind of mood I'm in and why this post began with a warning? I will think no less of you if you stop reading now, whether friend, fan or some other form of individual who has stumbled upon this blog. In fact I'll probably think better of your judgement than those who read on. But write on I must I'm afraid, it's too late to play music and I need an outlet.

Lately I've been feeling a bit stuck. In this city where I live and so few of my friends do, in this routine of losing touch with old friends, making new ones and only being able to see either, old or new, on odd occasions, while communicating through some form of technology.

I haven't seen or even talked to my friends from university in far too long. And we were so close. What troubles me though is that, I could hop on a train tomorrow and go see them for a day or two, and quite soon I may have to, but that's not what I'm missing. I'm missing them being there every day. I know I have rarely if ever mentioned them on this blog, because I started it after I moved back to Derby and it's more connected with my online life. But last year I lived in a house with four friends, and there were another five a couple of houses down. That made me so happy, coming back from uni and seeing who was in, going out for a drink in the middle of the day just because we were students. Even now when I hardly talk to them they mean so much to me. It's Joe's birthday soon, hopefully something will happen for that, it usually does.

I currently have three big projects taking up the majority of my time. A video for which is a large and daunting task, but it's nice to challenge yourself. Obviously my EP, but that isn't moving very fast. It needs at least one more song that I haven't written yet, and I don't write enough. And lastly the collab EP I've mentioned before. This is at least starting to move somewhere. I have most of the songs with people waiting for parts to be done. The latest one I recorded for was a song I'm doing with Ben (Loka). Every time I do something with/find something out about Ben I like him even more. I sent him a first draft of the song to see what he thought, and I was expecting to get back a reply saying something like, 'I like it, what would you like me to do?' Oh no, he sends me three mp3s the next day, one with him singing on it and two with different guitar ideas! Another reason I like Ben is because, in a community where 20 year olds are considered old, he is one of very few 'grown ups' I know from the youtubes. Not that I mind hanging out with the younger generation, see today's video for proof of that, a happy birthday video for Nic who has just turned sixteen.

Well anyway, I want this collab thing finished soon so I have something completed that I can give to people. I think I'll feel less stuck then.

By the way the tennis was amazing today. Two of the best players ever in a five set Wimbledon final. We're so lucky they have each other, if there was just one of them they would just win everything practically unchallenged. But they really push each other.

This blog has stopped being about whatever it was supposed to be about.

So I'm going to stop.

p.s. I have 5 mosquito (or similar) bites all within 1 cm of each other on my left thumb. They are very annoying.

p.p.s. I hate it when people tell me a cover isn't as good as the original. Of course it isn't. I mean OF COURSE it isn't. The time and money they put into it, then I come along and record a version from my bedroom in one afternoon. That's not the point you fucking idiots. You don't understand music or life, fuck off.


Tal said...

I just got home and that was the worst post for me to read.
And by the way, what's the point in writing somthing like "You really shouldn't read from now on"? I mean obviously it'll make people read on.
But anyway, I just got home from my highschool graduation ceremony and that whole "missing them always being there", is exactly what I'm so very afraid of.
I intend to do everything in my power to prevent what you've described because with todays technology and transportation, maintaining relationships should be fairly easy, at least doable. (doable? do-able? anyway somthing possible).
You shouldn't wait for a birthday to see your uni friends I mean keeping them close is worth the effort of driving from time to time.
About that mic thing well of course they didn't provide you with somthing you needed it was more about the jesture I suppose, they think you have influence which is nice.
And yeah obviously covers aren't as good as the original and never will be, doesn't mean you shouldn't make them and that's obvious.
Good luck and good night!

Carol J. Richardson said...

Long day; 12 hrs. again. Just read your latest blog and Just wanted to tell you to please please do go see your friends. You won't regret it. Don't spend your young life thinking about things you wish you would of or should have done; you realize that no one on their death bed; I'm sure; ever say, "God, sure wish I'd spent more time in the office." Also, do it while you are young; you can't take it with you; we never see a U-Haul trailer behind a hearse. Love you......Have a lovely day!

Dale thegadgetdude said...

My that was a mass blog of things, but i did read it all, the part with the monkey was brilliant...

On a serious note your EP should be great as long as you can get that last song on there, I'm still puzzled about the mic thing so I'll just shrug my shoulders and say "i unno" to that one.


Jim said...

I think your covers are great, though usually I can't compare them to the originals, because I haven't heard the originals. I like music, and I love your music particularly, but I don't listen to it all the time the way it seems most people do these days. Nothng against listening to it all the time, if that makes someone happy, of course.

Anyway, I agree that those people don't get the point; I'm not a musician, but I'd think the point of doing a cover it so pay homage to the artist who wrote the song, in your own style, not to try to do it better.

So, mainly I just want to say, keep doing what you do, and I'll always be there listening and giving you my love and support, because you're awesome.

Jwa107 said...

This is the first blog-post I've read of yours as I wasn't even aware that you had one until 15 minutes ago. But you know what? I really liked it because it goes beyond what I see of you on YouTube. Makes you seem more human. =]

I worry about similar things, like losing touch with my friends, and yet, they're still around, sometimes I can be standing less than *convert to metric* 3 meters from them, and yet I still feel so distant. Because for me, I'm usually far away from the world, mentally, not physically. --anyways, this isn't about me.

And about the strange package thing, really, do as you please.
I wouldn't follow instructions from some package. Just because it's anonymous, doesn't make them right. Your call.


Jesse said...

Johnny Durham got a similar parcel to yours. Check his new video.

ehh strange

Maria said...

Liked the pps you added. Agree on that!
And the whole situation with your friends and all!
Been there, done that. Horrible. Feel like your alone in the world...
Stuck in a distant corner by yourself...

Veel said...

do you realize that loads of your posts have warnings to people not to read it?~ :p

Dan said...

I agree about the whole cover thing, it's impossible for a cover to be as good, no matter how good it is, because it's not the original and that would be impossible.

Kate said...

I can sure as hell not understand life and may be naive enough to jump to wild conclusions about people "choosing" you in some grand scheme to help change the world, but I do know that you should shut the fuck up, put everything (including your collab ep) away, get on a train, & go visit your friends. We don't matter, your EP doesn't matter, nothing matters in such a way that some human interaction with people you are close with does, so just go.

Even if that doesn't work out the way you want it to, what better way to stop feeling stuck by getting on a train and physically removing yourself from your normal atmosphere ;)

Michela said...

aww dave, i feel your frustration.
i've been thinking alot about what's been happening with the gifts, and i've come to the conclusion that its all just an expensive metaphor. like, certainly, the mic is nice, but as you already have one. and johnny got a sweatshirt...i mean thats hardly gonna help him change the world. but it was bright orange; different. and with your equipment, you already have some, so the gift itself isnt going to do anything. to me at least, this seems like they just want to reiterate thier point. the letter itself proves the point that our generation can do great things with our technology, but the gift seems just like a lil incentive.

and MAN can i relate to the mosquito bite thing once i had about 17 bites on a small sliver of my knee, coz i have a rip in my jeans. ouch and itch.

and your covers are better than the original :D

Gnot said...

I'm not going to read through the comments other people have posted. You may not even read this one...

But I'm so needed to release some stressful stuff. It's too late for me to write/play/properly listen to some music...I've already written (in tears) an e-mail to my best friend, worse case senerio of that is that she'll hate me, though I spend every day in fear of that anyway.

I see your videos, your music. Sometimes I'm jealous because I'm not out there like you, because I'm nowhere near as good as you, sometimes I'm mezmerised by what someone can do by themself.

Sometimes I forget that YouTubers get stressed, upset, depressed...emotional in any way. I'm always down here crying and thinking nobody understand.

I'm glad you could post this blog Dave...I really am. You let off some steam, and I wish I could do the same.

Blogging? Meh, maybe. I've got a tune going in my head, you know one of the ones that is like "Hey! It's 12am but if you go to bed now you'll forget it!!" I'm going to go to bed anyway though...

I know this comment has been... well... I know it hasn't enlightened you like I would hope it would do.

Thanks for keeping it real Dave - I love your reaction to the mystery made it personal and not "omg I must help the internet community".

Goodnight Dave x

nora said...

I actually like a lot of your covers more than the origionals-then again I'm some twerpy fifteen year old typing this on an iPod at three in the morning. Eh praise is praise. Right? ...anyway you should go see your friends. I figure at all costs everyone should try to avoid being middle aged, having lost touch with their old friends, always talking about "the old days" and how they wished they kept in touch. Well...good luck with that and I hope that mystery package wasn't coated in anthrax! :D

sarah said...

Thanks for this post! You didn't have to put a warning. More people should tell the truth like you do. By the way, I loved your foundations cover! I love listening to it even more than the original.