Why do people expect things from me?

Like that I can read an email in Chinese.

Or that I will sing happy birthday to someone I don't know at the request of someone else I don't know. Like I don't care about the other 7000 people that watch my channel and how little it would mean to them (and me), I'd love to sing happy birthday to your mate.

Or this evening's entry which stepped up from that one with a message entitled "friend died at age 13 tribute song please." How matter of fact is that? As if there is no chance I'm not gonna do it. Fuck me, I mean I don't mean to sound insensitive and I'm very sorry your friend died so young, that's one of the worst things that could happen ever. But... well... no.
He even gave me things to include in the writing of this song. God it's horrible. I feel shit just having been brought into contact with something like that, but I didn't know your friend, and I don't know you, of course I'm not writing a song about it.

Oh and even since I started writing this I've received this message,

" PLEASE!!!

uh hi.... <3
well I have a small favor to ask you..... you'd make me feel very special if you did it...

well um could you maybe make a video of how to play the song emily by from first to last? um I love that song and its on acoustic and I learned the intro and I'm pretty good at it but I am still having trouble doing the actual verse part witch is strumming and chords and stuff and it would mean the world to me if you could do that.... "

Do you see any tutorial videos on my channel? Have I ever given any indication that I would be interested in doing this?


I think I'm mostly annoyed because I'm annoyed, if that makes sense. These are people who like me and are asking me for something. That shouldn't be too bad, but it's so frustrating when people ask for stuff you're obviously not going to do. It's almost like they are hoping I'm too nice and I just can't say no to people, which to be honest is a problem I have sometimes, so hey - maybe they're helping me after all, helping me say no easier.

Any VLR listeners, I think it was the last episode, (the one where they just couldn't be bothered!) when Jimmy said that he found it weird that people that don't know him email him. Yes, I agree.

Sometimes

Sometimes making something great means having to throw away half a days work.

It's a bitch, but it's worth it.

Yes, it's myself I'm trying to convince.

I have no idea what john is singing right now

But it's funny.

This is another tired blog so it will probably be quite short.

So I went to Manchester and saw some uni friends, in fact the whole of my third year house was there, which is pretty much awesome.

Then I came back, went over to Nottingham and played a gig. On my way there driving down the road looking for a parking space some guys walking in the middle of the road punches my window! Just punches it! As you do.

Other than that the gig went alright, though I was pretty tired, I think the last week caught up with me. The thing with gigging at the moment is I feel like I'm doing it just to keep in practice. I don't have a cd to sell, I'm not hanging out with friends cos I don't know anyone in Nottingham (which is where I play mostly because my cousin gets me there and I cba getting my own!) and I reach more people on youtube in the time it takes me to drive to the gig than I do at the gig itself.

So I think I need to finish the old EP so I have something to sell, and go play up north some time where my friends will come watch me.

In other news my piano is in tune. This makes me happy. I've already recorded something with it - a cover of a Fortunes Fall song. Thought it would be good promo for Ed plus I am going to try out cloning for the second time for the video. That should be fun. Or infuriating.

I've thrown that song up on myspace already so you can go get it before the video is even recorded! It's on the second myspace, there's a link to that around here somewhere.

Ok it's hot and I'm tired.

Goodnight.

What a difference (half) a day makes.

This morning I woke up, having barely slept in a double bed with four people in it, baking hot and dehydrated and just wanting someone to do me a favour and knock me unconscious for a week. I spent the next few hours trying to move as little as possible having found a slightly cooler place to lie.

So that was me this morning.

Then I drove back home which was a further three hours of unpleasantness, but then...

I showered, shaved, ate... just did all the things I hadn't done that much of over the last two days, and suddenly I felt awesome, all happy about having seen my friends, and excited at the thought of seeing other friends tomorrow. Oh and my piano got a tuning while I was gone so for the first time ever I have an in tune piano! Expect piano videos soon(ish) and also a video PJ, John, Tom and I did in Peterborough, it's the result of putting four strange people who like to make videos together for a few hours. I like that thought.

I have just one thing left to do and it needs to be done soon. In fact, now. *falls asleep while hitting publish*

Plans

On Friday I'm going to Peterborough.
The Weekend I'm in London.
Monday night is Manchester.
Back to Derby Tuesday.
Then gigging in Nottingham on Wednesday.

So I better get some stuff done before Friday.
Eek.

Clearing out my brain

Ok I have a lot on my mind right now so I'm warning you, this could get messy. And long.

I'm not even gonna start on the letter I showed you. Well ok I'll give you one line about them, they either have more money than sense or they were given that stuff free and thought of a funny thing to do with it. Thank you for your thoughts on that by the way. Though one thing that confused me, quite a few people commented saying stuff like 'you should take this opportunity' or 'they've given you the key to...' do something, I forget what... But whatever, they haven't really have they? It's not like I've been sat here writing songs for the last year with no microphone to record them on. What they've given me, is a third microphone and an idea for a song topic. If you're reading this, I don't mean to sound ungrateful, though I must say your methods are... unusual, what I'm saying is, nothing has changed. No real opportunity has arisen. If I write a song about what they were talking about, it will go on my channel, about 6,000 people will see it and it will be forgotten because in my head, it will always be mixed up with the reason it was written.

So there's that "one line" about the letter for you. Now do you see what kind of mood I'm in and why this post began with a warning? I will think no less of you if you stop reading now, whether friend, fan or some other form of individual who has stumbled upon this blog. In fact I'll probably think better of your judgement than those who read on. But write on I must I'm afraid, it's too late to play music and I need an outlet.

Lately I've been feeling a bit stuck. In this city where I live and so few of my friends do, in this routine of losing touch with old friends, making new ones and only being able to see either, old or new, on odd occasions, while communicating through some form of technology.

I haven't seen or even talked to my friends from university in far too long. And we were so close. What troubles me though is that, I could hop on a train tomorrow and go see them for a day or two, and quite soon I may have to, but that's not what I'm missing. I'm missing them being there every day. I know I have rarely if ever mentioned them on this blog, because I started it after I moved back to Derby and it's more connected with my online life. But last year I lived in a house with four friends, and there were another five a couple of houses down. That made me so happy, coming back from uni and seeing who was in, going out for a drink in the middle of the day just because we were students. Even now when I hardly talk to them they mean so much to me. It's Joe's birthday soon, hopefully something will happen for that, it usually does.

I currently have three big projects taking up the majority of my time. A video for student.com which is a large and daunting task, but it's nice to challenge yourself. Obviously my EP, but that isn't moving very fast. It needs at least one more song that I haven't written yet, and I don't write enough. And lastly the collab EP I've mentioned before. This is at least starting to move somewhere. I have most of the songs with people waiting for parts to be done. The latest one I recorded for was a song I'm doing with Ben (Loka). Every time I do something with/find something out about Ben I like him even more. I sent him a first draft of the song to see what he thought, and I was expecting to get back a reply saying something like, 'I like it, what would you like me to do?' Oh no, he sends me three mp3s the next day, one with him singing on it and two with different guitar ideas! Another reason I like Ben is because, in a community where 20 year olds are considered old, he is one of very few 'grown ups' I know from the youtubes. Not that I mind hanging out with the younger generation, see today's video for proof of that, a happy birthday video for Nic who has just turned sixteen.

Well anyway, I want this collab thing finished soon so I have something completed that I can give to people. I think I'll feel less stuck then.

By the way the tennis was amazing today. Two of the best players ever in a five set Wimbledon final. We're so lucky they have each other, if there was just one of them they would just win everything practically unchallenged. But they really push each other.

This blog has stopped being about whatever it was supposed to be about.

So I'm going to stop.

p.s. I have 5 mosquito (or similar) bites all within 1 cm of each other on my left thumb. They are very annoying.

p.p.s. I hate it when people tell me a cover isn't as good as the original. Of course it isn't. I mean OF COURSE it isn't. The time and money they put into it, then I come along and record a version from my bedroom in one afternoon. That's not the point you fucking idiots. You don't understand music or life, fuck off.

Free stuff?

I played a gig in Nottingham last night. On my way there I got a text saying 'There's a prcel here for you.' To which I replied, 'Ummm.... what?' This was at a bar I'd never been to in a city I don't live in. A parcel. For me.

Well I'll cut out the crap and tell you I've just opened it, it's a usb microphone and a stand. That's about £70 worth of stuff, and there's a letter which I shall type out for you now.

"Hi Dave

You're probably wondering why someone's sent you all this stuff. It's because times are changing.

You let the world know your opinions on your blog, and we like you for it. But this is different. This is your chance to be a mouthpiece for your entire generation. Are you up to it? We hope so.

We're sure you're bored with seeing the image portrayed of young people in the media: that you've all been led astray by gangstas, that you can't tell the difference between life and videogames, that you're a bunch of wasters. A lost generation. Losers.

So why don't you beat them at their own game? After all, you're a media mogul too. Over 5,000 people watch you on your blog, and they're probably just as bored with all these media opinions as you are. If you spoke up for yourselves, you could really make a difference. How about it? It's not called YouTube for nothing.

We like your songs (sorry you didn't win the Frtellis competition). Anyway, maybe you could write another one. How about one that tells us what you think about your generation? What should the media reaally be saying about you? We'd love to know. You're a performer, after all. Good luck in Nottingham tonight!

Your subscribers are powerful too, so why notuse them? They're happy to make comments about your videos, or videos about your videos, so what about getting them involved? Say the word and see what they have to say. Just like your Heinz protest.

Who are we? That's not important right now. What's important is that opinions change. But to put your mind at rest we're not a for-profit organisation, and we're nothing to do with politics.

We've got your best interests at heart, so do what you do best."

I'm going to save my many reactionary thoughts for a moment because I want to hear what you think based on the letter alone. I don't generally ask for comments on here, but I would like to know what people think about this.

Don't read this if you don't care about Internet Service Providers.

So I finally got round to calling up Virgin about our broadband, which currently is low speed and high price. They sent a leaflet around offering a much better deal, so I call up and follow the automated voice woman to the 'change your service' section. This is obviously located in India where a guy who is probably wildly overqualified and quite difficult to understand told me that those deals are only for new customers. What the fuck? He told me the best deal he could do me which was better but not great. So I called again, this time following automated voice woman to the 'I'm leaving your fucking company' section. This one, funnily enough, was in England. Amazing how they start to care when you're leaving. I told the woman the deal I was on, and what I'd seen they give to new customers and also the best competitor I could find.

Hold please.

She comes back with a better deal than any of them. Basically lowering our bill by £6.50 a month and making our broadband five times faster with a free wireless router to boot.

The thing I hate is that they know so many people just wont bother phoning (like me - I've been meaning to do it for months) that they don't do it automatically. They wait for you to say you're leaving then they'll give you anything you want because they know how much money they're making out of you.

Well anyway, I'm glad I finally got round to it, hopefully the upgrading won't have complications... Unlikely I know. But my advice to you, if you're beyond the original 12 month contract (or whatever it is) just call them up and say you're leaving, they'll give you anything you want. Same goes for phone contracts and probably other things. They're all bastards.

Don't read this if you don't care about tennis.

Most of you reading this probably don't know I quite like my tennis. I use to really enjoy playing when I was younger and if I hadn't spent the last 10 years dedicating most of my waking hours to music, I would have been playing sport. I suppose I would have made a go at either tennis, football or athletics (whether sprinting or jumping), but instead they all faded out over time and now I'm lazy and unfit, but at least I'm making music, and I've got a better chance of making a living from that than I would have those. I haven't played tennis in years, mainly because none of my friends played since I left school, but I still feel like after about an hour of playing I'd get back into it. When I watch it I remember how each shot feels, and how the rhythm you get into when you're playing well is so very similar to the feeling of playing a song you know inside out, more so than any other sport.

Unlike a lot of British 'tennis fans' Wimbledon is not the only tennis I watch, but it certainly is special. Ever year I feel like there is one game that really gets the tournament going, and I've just watched this years. Andy Murray, the only British player with any hope of getting anywhere lost the first two sets against Gasquet, ranked number ten in the world. Having just watched Euro 2008 without really caring about the result (though I was happy to see the sublime Spanish team beat the lumbering brute strength of the Germans - that was simply a victory for good football) I wasn't looking forward to a second week of Wimbledon with no one to cheer for.

Had Murray gone out in straight sets it would have been through no fault of his own. He played well from the beginning but Gasquet was simply incredible, it was like watching Federer play, the natural ability, the consistency, and the ease with which he pulled off the most difficult of shots. But Murray took the third to a tiebreaker having raised his game to match the phenomenal Frenchman. He won the tiebreaker on a shot that should have been impossible to reach, ending up beyond the grass and stopping himself just in time to not fall into the little pit the cameramen stand in. They must have got some brilliant celebratory shots.

Errors started to enter into Gasquay's game, which had previously looked almost flawless, and Murray suddenly looked the one who was unstoppable, and it proved so as he took the fourth and fifth sets to make it into the quarter finals.

What struck me most about the game was that, regardless of the result, it was a joy to watch. No offence to Tim Henman, he had a very good career and seems like a nice guy but my God he was a chore to watch! Murray has a confidence and aggressive side that Henman never really had, I expect him to win points. The fact that he came back to win it in five sets just adds to the excitement by offering the prospect of another match to come, this time against world number two Rafael Nadal. At the end Murray showed off his muscles, I imagine to show the effort he's put into the physical side to his training, which was noticeable - comparing to the last time he was at Wimbledon, he'd never have been able to keep up that level of play for 4 hours. But he won't be comparing with Nadal in that department, the Spaniard is build like a brick shithouse.

While I'm hovering around the subject, the tennis players of today must be some of the fittest sportsmen around. The way the cover the court is unbelievable, and to keep that going for longer than two back to back football matches, credit where it's due.

Back to Murray, I have just one thing against him: he's one of those Scottish people who like England to lose. I don't get that, I support Scotland against anyone but England and Ireland (I'm half Irish). I wonder how he'd feel if all of the English people in the crowd at Wimbledon wanted him to lose.

In other news I was recording today and equipment kept fucking up. Had someone been in the room I'd probably have killed them just for being there. I'm winning clipstar at the moment so hopefully I will be able to get some better stuff when that's over! Though I'm only winning by 2 votes and there's a month left. I was kind of hoping that mentioning it in a video would do more to be honest; I've got just over 200 votes out of almost 6000 subscribers. Oh well.