So I already put something up tonight, but I've taken it down because it has a part two and I want them to be one after the other, and I feel like writing this.
I've not really written anything about the upstage competition since the opening rounds which we got through. Not because I didn't want to, it just happened to come during the period of over a month that I didn't write anything.
Well tonight Alex sent an e-mail saying he wouldn't be able to make it to the finals. He can't get out of work.
This has put me in a pretty bad mood. And by pretty bad I mean like, shit.
I'm not mad at him or anything, I might have been if he dropped out just because he decided to, which he was thinking about a while ago, but it's work, what can you do? Back when he was saying he was gonna drop out originally, and Smiv was too, I had almost decided that I would too. Then a Myles Dyer [epic] email turned them around and I've been pretty positive about it since. Well, until tonight.
I'm still gonna do it, but I'm not looking forward to it. It's not even that I don't get on with the other guys, I mean I get on with everyone, I'm too easy going for my own good. But that week was stressful beyond belief and Alex was the one who was there at the end of the day, just chilling with him after the craziness of the day kept me sane. If I think back to that week and take him out of it... I'm not even gonna do that, I can tell that's a mistake. But then esentially that's the same as looking forward to the finals. Shit.
It would be a whole lot better if it was just semi-finals and a final. that's two or three days. Add the quarters and it starts to sound like a week, and a week is sounding like a very long time right now.
A part of me just wants to say 'fuck it.' Go to the gathering instead. See all the guys again, meet Nic! I'm never gonna get to fucking meet Nic because of this! But I can't do that for a lot of reasons. Obviously I couldn't let the others down or the people who've watched, who are basically awesome. And let's be honest, it's three days work that, if we win, will buy me a video camera and that amazing mic I've been looking at.
But that's what it feels like right now: work. It didn't feel like that an hour ago.
You know what it's 3am, I'm going to bed before I make myself look like even more of a twat. I bet I sound like Ash for fucks sake! (Apologies for the private joke.)
If anyone wants to do anything nice for me to make me feel better that would be great.
Especially if it's getting Alex time off work.